The Shower Scene Series. Stargate SG-1 Fanfiction by SCribe
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Shower Scenes

Pros and cons



All publicly recognisable characters and places are the property of MGM, World Gekko Corp and Double Secret Productions. This piece of fan fiction was created for entertainment not monetary purposes and no infringement on copyrights or trademarks was intended. Previously unrecognised characters and places, and this story, are copyrighted to the author. Any similarity to real persons, living or dead, is coincidental and not intended by the author.


Category: Humour
Season/Spoilers: End of Season 7
Series: Part of Scribe’s Shower Series
Synopsis: Jack and Daniel continue the pros and cons discussion regarding Jack's possible promotion
Rating/Warnings: PG for incidental nudity
Author's Notes: A little snippet I found lurking on my hard drive.

"You know if you take the job, you'll get your own private facilities," Daniel called from the shower cubicle he was occupying next to Jack's.

"Really?" Jack flipped the lid off his shower gel and turned the bottle upside down over the palm of his hand.

"I've heard it's real nice. Marble sink. Gold taps. Fully tiled."

"You're kidding, right?" Jack squeezed the bottle and was rewarded by a majestic farting sound but no gel. "Daniel…" A bottle of Bvlgari shower gel shot under the cubicle wall from next door, hitting his right foot before he could finish his request. "Thanks." He flipped the lid and squeezed a generous helping of bergamot-and-green-tea-scented gel into his hand - very expensive bergamot-and-green-tea-scented gel. Daniel was a shower gel snob.

"So that has to be a pro, right?" Daniel called.

Jack lathered the gel across his body, working up a rich, thick foam that he then smoothed down his hips and legs. "Well," he said slowly, breathing in the exotic perfume. "I'm not sure about that."

He rinsed off, and then reached for his shampoo. Something else hit his foot. Another bottle. With a smile he scooped it up. Daniel was something of a shampoo snob too. This was a virtually pristine bottle of shampoo from some English hairdressing saloon that Daniel claimed was absolutely the only decent shampoo ever made. He glanced at his own almost empty bottle of Walmart shampoo. It was over a year old. The label was virtually worn away, and the plastic top was pretty much glued into place with dried out shampoo. It occurred to him that he hadn't actually bought any new shampoo since Daniel's return from Oma De Snatch Away.

"Actually, I think it's a con," he said, as he helped himself to Daniel's shampoo and then kicked the bottle back under the cubicle.

"You do?"

"Yeah. I think I'd kinda miss showering down here."

Daniel snorted. "That head sucking thing must've left permanent brain damage. You like being in here with the lingering aroma of sweaty marines and dirty socks?"

"Camaraderie, Daniel. I'd miss the camaraderie."

"Ah," said Daniel. "That."

Jack didn't miss the distinctly wistful tone in Daniel's voice. He rinsed off the last of the shampoo, cranked the water off and then stuck his head around Daniel's side of the cubicle wall. "Miss me did ya?" he asked, with a cheeky smile.

Daniel glowered at him, and half turned so he wasn't giving Jack an eyeful of soapy private bits. "I didn't miss the complete disregard for personal privacy, that's for sure. You having separate showering facilities is definitely a pro."

Jack's grin widened. It never ceased to amuse him that Daniel was easily embarrassed in the showers. "But you did miss me?" he asked again, turning to his own cubicle to retrieve his towel.

"Yes, Jack, I missed you," Daniel said, as though humouring a particularly annoying child. "Happy now?"

"Your sincerity is moving me to tears," Jack replied good-naturedly. He headed out into the locker room to get dressed. Of course, Daniel had missed him. He knew that. They were a team - Daniel, Carter, Teal'c and himself. Had been for seven long years now. He shivered slightly, remembering the long months of Daniel's absence the previous year. Remembered how it had felt to be incomplete - as though missing some vital component. And how he'd realised that it wasn't just about being SG-1, that these people, these team-mates had somehow become integral to the jigsaw puzzle that was his life.

"There is another pro," Daniel said as he joined Jack at the lockers, a towel wrapped snugly around his hips.

"Oh?" Jack waited until Daniel opened his locker and then helped himself to Daniel's deodorant.

"Do you ever buy toiletries?" Daniel asked.

"Sure. I give Carter a big basket of that fruity stuff she loves every Christmas. So what's the pro?"

Daniel peered into the depths of his locker as he answered. "Well, if you aren't going through the 'Gate any more I can stop worrying about you sticking your head into alien technology. Or eating stuff you shouldn't eat. Or getting stuck in a Death Glider. Or getting kidnapped by Ba'al. Or…" The humour faded from Daniel's voice. "Or getting yourself killed."

Jack froze. "You don't want me on missions?"

Slowly Daniel turned to face him. His face was completely serious now. "It wasn't easy leaving you frozen in that ice wall, Jack. We didn't know it we'd ever… you know." He gestured vaguely, an odd circular movement that was, no doubt unintentionally, centred over his heart, then he managed a brief smile as he tried to lighten the mood. "So yeah, you not going on missions that's a pro. Definitely."

"For you maybe," Jack retorted. "Personally I think it's one big stinking con."

"How can not risking your life every day be a con?"

"Because, Daniel, I'm going to be stuck up in that goddamn office wondering if you guys are coming back from wherever the hell it is I've sent you. You're not the only one that's had to walk away without knowing if we'll ever see each other again, you know. Remember that whole light show stunt you pulled on me? If I take this job, that's what it's going to be like - every frigging mission." Suddenly frustrated, Jack thrust the deodorant at him. "Can you buy the Mountain Fresh next time. I don't like this fragrance."


He turned away, embarrassed by his outburst. "It's what you do, Daniel. You go through the 'Gate. I know that."

"I didn't realise… I didn't think…"

"What? That I'd miss you if you don't come back?" Jack held Daniel's gaze for a long moment. "Of course, I will. Who the hell else am I going to scrounge expensive toiletries off?"

He was relieved to see Daniel's lips twist into a smile. Time to change the subject. All this talk of pros and cons was proving dangerous.

"So," he said, casually. "Thor named a ship after you."

"Apparently, yes." Daniel sprayed deodorant under his arms and then sniffed. "You don't like this?"

"Too much vanilla."


"Trust me. If I want to smell like an ice cream, I'll shower in Ben and Jerry's."

Daniel sniffed again. "Maybe you're right."

"So, the Daniel Jackson," Jack said.

"What about it?"

"Just a word of advice, Daniel. Don't let Carter get her hands on it."

"Sam? Why?"

Jack shook his head, the memory still acutely painful. "She blew mine to smithereens." He scrunched his hands into fists and then shot his fingers out in emphasis. "Boom!" He traced a falling path in the air. "Tiny little bits of Jack O'Neill scattered all through the galaxy. Frightening, huh?"

"Yeah. Ummm, thanks, I'll, ummm, bear that in mind."

Jack leaned closer and dropped his voice to a conspiratorial whisper. "I think she was, maybe, just a little bit - jealous. I think she has a thing for Thor - and well, you know how it can go when a woman feels, you know, unappreciated."

"Right," Daniel said, giving Jack an odd look.

"What?" Jack demanded.

"Are you sure that head sucking thing didn't do any permanent damage?"


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