The final shower?
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Category: Episode tag
Series: Number 22 in Scribe's Shower Scene Series
Season/spoilers: Minor spoiler for Exodus (set between Double Jeopardy and Exodus)
Summary: Jack can't wait to show Daniel his new toy
"Isn't it incredible?" Jack turned and shot Daniel another wide grin.
"Oh, yeah," Daniel replied wearily. "Gold walls really float my boat."
"Oh c'mon, Daniel. Give me a little bit of enthusiasm here. It's a goa'uld mother ship. *Our* goa'uld mother ship."
Despite himself, Daniel couldn't help but smile. Jack was like a small boy who had woken on Christmas morning to find he hadn't just got a new bike, he'd got the top-of-the-range-mine-is-way-better-than-yours-souped-up-pumped-up-with-bell s-on bike.
He gave it his best shot. "It's great, Jack. Really. I'm totally impressed."
Apparently oblivious to the hint of sarcasm, Jack grinned again. "You know I figured having that death glider was cool. But this..." He waved a hand around the gleaming corridor. "Isn't it incredible?"
"Incredible, yeah." Daniel nodded his head. "I think you might've mentioned that already."
Ignoring him, Jack pulled to a halt at a large ornate door. "Wanna see my quarters?"
"You have quarters already?"
"First come, first served." Jack depressed one of the glyphs in the wall.
With a soft hiss, the door slid open, revealing a room of such incredible opulence, all Daniel could do was stand and blink.
"C'mon," Jack urged. "You've got to try this bed."
"W...w..what?" Daniel stepped cautiously into the room. He watched in amazement as Jack launched himself onto the bed, sighing blissfully as the mattress appeared to mould itself to his form and sent rippling massage-like waves across his shoulders and upper back.
"And to think Teal'c thought the magic fingers bed was good. This will really blow his mind." Jack rolled off the right hand side of the bed, coming upright with a graceful elegance. "Go on, try it."
"Ummmm..." Daniel pinched at the bridge of his nose and decided he really didn't need to get into a conversation concerning Jack, Teal'c and a magical bed right at this moment. His fingers moved to his temple, the first vestige of a headache nagging away at him.
He shot Jack a look that begged for sympathy. "Maybe later, okay? I'm kinda..."
He stopped, knowing he couldn't possible explain himself to Jack without becoming the butt of an endless stream of jokes. He winced at his own thoughts - come to think of it, butt was a bad choice of word. The fact was he'd been off-world with SG-11 for over two weeks, living under canvas in hot, humid conditions and constantly having to keep on the alert for a particularly unpleasant form of beetle. The bug liked to lurk in unexpected places - boots, socks, tee-shirts, bedding, oh yes, particularly bedding. Once hidden, it would then lie in wait to inflict stings on tender parts of the anatomy. The weird thing was that it didn't actually matter where on the body he got stung, the sensation never failed to be like having a red-hot needle stuck in his scrotum.
Daniel felt himself tense at the memory. Jack could praise the wonder of goa'uld beds all he liked. It was going to be quite some time before this particular archaeologist would be able to slide between the sheets without expecting the experience to be an unpleasant one.
Aware that Jack was giving him a quizzical look, Daniel began to study some of the other objects in the room. Mirrors - hopefully not of the quantum variety - a closet containing an array of pseudo-Roman clothing, a collection of goa'uld weaponry...
"What's this?" Daniel stopped in front of a recess.
"A recess," Jack offered helpfully.
Daniel sighed. "I can see that, but what's it for." He stepped into it, his attention drawn to the glyphs on the right hand wall. Tracing one finger along their raised surfaces his lips moved in silent translation.
"I have no idea," Jack replied, flopping back onto the mattress. "You know you really ought to try this bed."
Distracted by the writing on the wall, Daniel ignored him. "I think this is some kind of poem. A tribute to the water god - uh-oh." One of the glyphs shifted under his touch. Daniel whirled round at the sound of electricity sparking.
Through the archway that led out of the recess, he could see Jack lying on the bed, but the image was distorted, shimmering as though hot air was rising between them.
Daniel took a step forward and yelped as a sharp jolt of electricity raced through his body. "Ow!"
"Daniel?" Jack was off the bed and at the entrance to the recess in an instant. He cautiously reached out a finger, yelping as he touched the shimmering force field that now separated him from Daniel.
"I think, I umm - " Daniel gestured towards the glyphs before shooting Jack an apologetic look. "I think I've locked myself into some kind of holding cell."
"A holding cell?" Jack frowned. "That doesn't make any sense. Why would a cell have the lock on the inside?"
"Ah. Good point." Daniel felt a flood of relief as he moved back to the glyphs. "If one of these activated the force field, there must be an off switch." He wrinkled his forehead at the unfamiliar symbols.
"Well?" Jack demanded impatiently.
"Well - " Daniel shook his head. "Maybe it's this one?" He pressed down on one of the glyphs. For a long moment nothing happened. Then suddenly a woman's voice sounded inside the recess.
"What was that?" Jack asked.
Daniel's eyebrows were dancing in fearful anticipation. "Ummm, I think she said something like 'water cycle will begin in - "
His words were cut off as a ferocious jet of frothy water exploded from the wall behind him, slamming into his back and lower legs. Totally unprepared, Daniel lost his balance and hit the floor in an ungainly heap of limbs, water and foam.
"Ugghhh!" He spat soapy water from his mouth, blinking furiously to attempt to alleviate the stinging in his eyes, his glasses having been washed from his face. "I think I've found the shower."
"Well you were complaining you hadn't had chance to shower properly," Jack replied unsympathetically.
Climbing to his feet and bracing himself against the powerful spray, Daniel shot him a dark look. "That didn't mean I wanted to shower fully dressed!"
"So take your clothes off and enjoy it," Jack retorted. He turned away. "I'll even spare your modesty.
"Thanks!" Daniel replied sarcastically. He peered at the glyphs. "How the hell do I turn it off?"
Jack turned back as the woman's voice intoned again. "What did you do now?"
"Nothing," Daniel protested. "She just said it's finished.
Abruptly the water jet shut off.
"Well, that's a relief." Daniel straightened up, swiping at the soap suds that were still running down his face. "Now if I can just figure out how to turn off the force field."
"Just a minute Jack."
"Daniel, I hate to worry you..."
"Jack, I'm trying to concentrate."
"Look at your damn feet, Daniel."
Daniel's attention jerked downward. "Oh." Four large grates had opened up in the floor and water was pouring out of them. Trapped by the three walls and the force field, it was already lapping over the soles of Daniel's boots. He caught the alarmed look on Jack's face.
"Don't worry. I'll get it figured out in a moment."
The words were barely out of his mouth when another voice sounded - this time it was the unmistakable tone of Chronos. Daniel's head jerked up as his mind automatically supplied the translation. He swore softly, not wanting to believe what he'd just heard.
"What did he say?" Jack demanded, his face reflecting the fact he didn't expect good news
Rubbing his index finger and thumb together in barely restrained agitation, Daniel turned to face him. "I think I've walked into a booby trap."
"A booby trapped shower?"
Daniel nodded. "The translation went roughly along the lines of "Your presence here means I have been defeated in battle, but the final victory is mine. The hand of Chronos reaches beyond the grave to crush his enemies. May you curse my name as water fills your lungs and..."
"I get the picture."
"The shower must have some kind of scanning technology. It must have recognised I wasn't Chronos and since..."
"Daniel! Let's just concentrate on getting you out of there and worry about how it trapped you later, okay?"
Daniel turned back to the writing. The water was up to his knees now and showed no sign of lessening. "Maybe this will work." He gave Jack a quick, nervous smile and pressed a series of glyphs.
"Ah?" Jack demanded.
"Okay - that did have an effect, just not the one I was after."
Daniel gave an embarrassed wince as Jack raised his eyebrows in question. "The water coming through the grates..."
"Just got several degrees hotter." Daniel swiped a hand over his face in anticipation of sweat. "Make that quite a few degrees hotter."
"Oh crap!" Jack pressed his fingers against the force field again, only to snatch his hand back and shake it up and down vigorously.
"You hurting yourself really isn't going to help," Daniel pointed out.
"No, but sharing makes me feel a whole hell of a lot better."
Peering at the glyphs again, Daniel shrugged off his jacket. The water was uncomfortably hot now and well up his thighs. A few more inches and his immediate reproductive capabilities were going to take a drastic nose dive. Sweat really was trickling down his face now as the air in the small recess grew hotter.
He licked his lips nervously while translating and retranslating the glyphs. It was useless. There was nothing but the cryptic poem and a bunch of symbols he hadn't seen before. He guessed he shouldn't be surprised - most of the showers on earth didn't come with a handbook neatly engraved on the cubicle wall. Then again, most shower cubicle on earth weren't water tight and didn't fill from the floor upwards.
Daniel sucked in a sharp breath as the water reached places he really would've preferred it not to reach.
Jack's voice was tight with urgency. "Do something, Daniel."
In response, Daniel favoured the colonel with a sharp look. "Exactly what do you suggest I do? I've punched all the glyphs that move."
"Well punch them again!"
"Right." Daniel slapped his palm on the nearest glyph. Nothing. He tried another. Then another. He even risked repeating the sequence that had altered the temperature. Still nothing. The water continued its relentless climb up his body.
Jack cursed as he tore his gaze away from Daniel's panic-filled face and did a quick sweep of Chronos' bedroom. There had to be something he could do.
His gaze fell on a heavy gilt chair, Snatching it up, he pulled back and then swung it as hard as he could at the force field. It bounced out of his hands as it impacted, flying back over his head and landing with a crash against the far wall of the bedroom.
Inside the recess, the water had reached Daniel's armpits. Jack watched as Daniel sucked in a deep breath and then ducked his head beneath the surface so he could tug at his boot laces.
"What the hell are you doing?" he demanded as Daniel surfaced.
"I'm going to have to tread water," Daniel yelled back. "There's a good three feet between my head and the ceiling." He succeeded in kicking off one boot. He pinned Jack with a look of determination. "You'll have to figure something."
Right. Jack felt numb. Daniel was going to drown, trapped behind an impenetrable force field. This was all his fault. He'd been so excited about getting his hands on the mother ship he'd let his guard down. Hell, he hadn't even brought a weapon with him.
A weapon! That was it. What he needed was a zat gun. One blast to stun. Two to kill. And three to disintegrate! Would it work on a force field? It had to.
"Daniel. I'm going to the armoury."
"Just keep afloat until I get back, okay?"
Daniel swallowed hard. "You know I kinda figured that part out on my own."
"I'll be as quick as I can." Jack was already moving to the door.
"Quick." Daniel nodded to himself as Jack disappeared from view. "Yeah - quick would be good."
The second boot finally came off. Relieved to have the heavy weights off his feet, Daniel hurriedly stripped off his socks, pants and tee-shirt. The water was still uncomfortably hot, a fact which Daniel figured was not going to help him in trying to stay afloat. The heat seemed to be draining his energy.
He was on tiptoe now. Head tipped back to keep his mouth and nose above water. How long could he tread water for anyway? And more worryingly - how much air was trapped above him? No point in being able to tread water for five minutes if he used up all the available oxygen. Shame Sam wasn't here. She would've been able to do the math. Work out the odds.
Uh-oh. His feet lost their tenacious contact with the floor. He arched his back and tilted his shoulders only to discover he didn't have enough room to float on his back. Treading water really was his only option. And the ceiling was getting awfully close.
He closed his eyes and tried desperately to stay calm. He was going to be fine. After all he'd been through in the past four years - cut down by a staff weapon, addicted to the sarcophagus, driven mad by Machello's goa'uld killing devices, beaten, zatted and ribboned God knew how many times, not to mention being damn near eaten by a Unas - he wasn't about to drown in the shower on-board a mother ship. That would just be too ridiculous.
Besides Jack had plan. And Jack's plans always worked. Didn't they?
Damn. Which way was it?
Jack sprinted down the corridors, cursing the fact they all looked the same. What he wouldn't give to have Carter here right now. Thanks to Jolinar's memories, she already knew the layout of a mothership inside out. He, on the other hand, was still finding his way around.
He reached a T-junction and skidded to a halt. Left or right? Left. No, right. Oh shit. he sucked in a sharp breath and went left. Seconds later he blew out the breath in relief as he spotted a distinctive scorch mark on the wall. He knew where he was now.
One more turn and he was there. His palm slapped impatiently on the access glyph and he hurried into the room. The first crate he opened was filled with stun grenades. The second held communications globes. Swearing colourfully, he opened a third and hollered with relief as he found what he needed - zats. He snatched up two, fired off a couple of test shots - the ship had bitten his ass once, no way was he wasn't going to get caught out by defective weapons - and set off at a sprint back towards Chronos' chamber.
"Daniel, I'm..." The words died in his throat.
Daniel was floating face down in the water - fully submerged and apparently lifeless.
"No!" Jack screamed the denial as he fired both weapons at the base of the force field. Once. Blue energy shimmered upwards. Twice. The sharp smell of ozone reached his nostrils. Three times.
He held his breath as the force field continued to shimmer, the liquid still trapped behind it. Then - with a rush of white noise reminiscent of the Stargate bursting into life - the water burst through a narrow opening that widened fracture-like from floor to ceiling. And with the torrent came Daniel in a tangled mass of wet clothing and limp limbs, tumbling and spinning until he was deposited on the floor, face down, like some kind of exotic catch of the day.
Swiftly Jack bent down and flipped the archaeologist onto his back. A quick check ascertained no pulse. Oh God. Daniel wasn't breathing. Keeping his emotions tightly reined in, he allowed himself to think of nothing but giving the kiss of life. Tilt the head back. Inflate the lungs. Chest compressions. Check for a pulse.
"Come on Daniel!"
He repeated his actions. Twice. Three times. Please God! Don't let that bastard Chronos win.
He leaned over the unconscious body of his friend, ready to blow air into the younger man's lungs once more, when suddenly Daniel twitched. Jack barely had time to get his face out of the way as Daniel spewed water.
Jack hurriedly rolled Daniel on to his side and then, rocking back on his heels, watched as nature took its course, Daniel's body ejecting what seemed to be an excessively large amount of unwanted fluid.
A pair of blue eyes stared up at him. "You - made it."
Jack pulled in a ragged breath, aware of how close he'd called it. He pressed a hand against Daniel's cheek, relishing the feel of living flesh. "So did you, big guy. So did you."
It was amazing how quickly he'd gone from being too hot to feeling chilled to the bone. Daniel was shivering uncontrollable as Jack flung open the closet and rummaged for towels.
"Ah - got them."
Too weak to protest, he allowed Jack to swathe him in soft cotton, and even submitted to the colonel towelling his hair dry.
"Okay, let's get you back to the SGC pronto. Janet's going to want to get her hands on you after this little adventure."
Daniel groaned, but he couldn't deny he felt like shit. His throat was burning and his chest felt tight. He had a strong suspicion he was going to be on the receiving end of one of Janet's vicious anti-biotic regimes.
As Jack helped him to his feet he looked wistfully at his sodden clothes, wriggling his toes against the cold floor.
"I don't suppose..."
"Don't even think about it, Daniel. No way are you getting back into those."
Daniel shot Jack a look of appeal. "Don't make me go back to the SGC wrapped in nothing more than a towel. I'll never hear the end of it."
For a moment he thought Jack was going to protest, but instead the colonel headed to the closet. Throwing the doors open he gestured to Daniel.
"Take your pick." Smirking he pulled out the nearest outfit. "This one's so you, don't you think. Maybe a little short in the leg."
Daniel stared at the outfit in horror. "I'm not wearing a skirt!"
"But Daniel - it's the very latest fashion amongst the gods."
"Chronos was a pervert."
Jack made a mock tutting sound. "Wash your mouth out with soap, Doctor Jackson."
Daniel raised a finger, his eyes drifting towards the recess. "Actually - I think I just got through doing that."
Jack winced at the black humour but refused to be swayed from the opportunity to mock Daniel further. The archaeologist had just scared the shit out of him - again. He deserved a little payback. He pulled out another outfit, this one a gold cloak with a matching tunic that might just about cover Daniel's essential parts. He grinned as he waved it towards the archaeologist. "You said you liked gold. I think this is kind of regal, don't you?"
Daniel headed towards the door, shooting Jack a sour look. "The towel's fine."
"You're sure?" Jack called after him with mock solicitousness.
Seconds later Jack had caught up with him. The older man threw an arm around his shoulders.
"Next time, Daniel, take my advice."
Daniel stared at him, momentarily confused.
"Try the bed. It's way, way better than the shower."
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